In opposition to love, I, was vocal of this among whose company I kept.
I believed love to be impatient, angry, unmerciful, and lacking in grace.
I knew love to be selfish, prideful, and rude.
This is the love that for me was portrayed.
My heart told me this love, was wrong, though my mind told me this love was right.
As a result of this so-called love, I lived, not knowing my need for a Savior.
Not much time had passed before I had found that this love was not worth pursuing.
After many years of trying and failing to follow the rules, I, was weary of much condemnation.
Thus, I decided to throw in the towel.
I figured, if I was unable to make the cut, then, I would chase the opposite of love for my fulfillment.
I found no fullfillment, and grew a bitterness toward love.
I didn't believe of its existence.
I had never seen it, whether it was before my eyes or not.
So, I lived, in greater need of a Savior.
Taboo, or what I believed to be taboo, maybe, this is where satisfaction and fulfillment hide?
At first, it was exciting, though always shameful.
The moment of pleasure, addicting, yet, unfulfilling.
Days became weeks, weeks became months, months became years, and my heart had become more calloused.
Life without purpose, was too much to bear.
If taboo brought a thousand times more heartache than pleasure, where did this satisfaction hide?
Still aimless, in need of a Savior.
Deeper and deeper, the trench I dug, not knowing I was nearing the bottom.
Living carelessly, emptier, and emptier was my fill, depressed, and suicidal.
Trying to decide what would cause the least pain, my heart had suffered enough.
"I can't! No! There has got to more than this life!!"
With nowhere else to turn, "God, if you are real, I'm desperate.", still not understanding my need for a Savior.
"There is more!" he said. "Your heart has always wanted it, but your flesh has kept you from it."
He said, He was love, and love is true fulfillment.
He said, He was waiting for me, and the truth was always set before my eyes.
He was not mad at me, but He cried on my behalf, because I didn't know His grace, nor His mercy, His love all encompassing.
"I didn't know You were gentle and selfless, Your kindness now so clear!
You're willing to forgive and look past all I've done?
Love and fulfillment, they do exist!
I admit my need for a Savior.
This Savior, He came, fully God and man, lived the life that I could not.
To satisfy my greatest need, and make a way where there was none.
He is perfect, but He was beaten.
He is Life, but He, was murdered.
We only know of bondage until we experience freedom, and mine were empty pursuits.
No longer empty pursuits for fulfillment, for freedom, I have found.
There is no meaning outside of Him, He, is the embodiment of love.
Of His name, I have to tell, for empty pursuits still entangle others.
If I spoke no other words, "This Jesus, The Christ, He was born because of my need for a Savior."
If nothing else my tongue could tell, "Jesus, Immanuel, Love, was born, because of our need for a Savior."
-daneK
